Puzzled

 

Puzzled

I have always loved the challenge of a good jigsaw puzzle. Even in kindergarten at playtime I would run to be the first to get a wooden puzzle. But lately the old fashion type of jigsaw puzzle has been difficult for me to do… just those age-related aches and pains from bending over a table! So when a jigsaw puzzle advertisement showed up on my tablet a couple of weeks ago, I decided to download the free app and check it out.

The first puzzle I chose was a picture of horses. (If you have met me even once, you know that I absolutely love these four-legged creatures!) The puzzle was fun to do, and I realized I was going to enjoy this app. But then I found a “special” where they offered a free puzzle for every day of the month of January. I clicked on January 1st, and to my surprise, these were “mystery” puzzles. No preview. I chose the hardest level of difficulty of the three levels offered and clicked on the start button.

The frame was the first thing I tackled, looking for all the white-edged straight pieces. This didn’t seem too challenging. But just from the frame, it was impossible to tell with accuracy what picture would unfold. Scrolling down one by one, I tried to find a piece, any piece that would fit into the frame. This was not any easy task, especially not having a clue as to what the final picture would be. But I kept at it, and little by little I placed some pieces, all the while gaining more perception as to what the end result might possibly look like. Sometimes I would get a run on the pieces and fit one right after the other in the same area. That was exhilarating! And I would study shapes and color, trying to get the right piece on the first try. As the picture began to unfold, so did my excitement and feeling of accomplishment. I could now guess with accuracy what the final puzzle might look like. It was actually a great feeling when I was down to the last few pieces and they filled in rapidly, sounding a little “bing” noise to assure they were in the right place. And then, to my surprise, when the last piece was in place, the puzzle no longer showed the division between the individual pieces, but was transformed with a “twinkling” sound into a beautiful photo!

I was hooked. Anytime I had a free moment, I would pick up my tablet and work on the next January mystery puzzle. Even though it was relaxing as well as mentally challenging, I started feeling somewhat guilty about spending my time doing puzzles. I needed to prepare for a speaking engagement that was only a few weeks away, not sit doing jigsaw puzzles. Yet I felt compelled to start a new puzzle as soon as I finished one.

 I was on puzzle number twenty-eight when I finally realized what was happening. God was trying to speak to me through the puzzles. It was a message for my own life, as well as for the conference I would soon attend, which I had titled “Never Alone.”  It now all made sense. Can God speak this way? Of course He can! The better question would be, are we listening when He chooses to use means that we consider unconventional?

God was showing me that I have viewed my life in the last few years as if it were a gigantic, difficult puzzle with no idea whatsoever what the final picture may be. My able-bodied husband had rapidly become disabled, until presently spending his days in a wheelchair and unable to do the simplest task by himself. I have had to sell our farm, my beloved horses, move twice and face countless Dr. appointments with still an unclear diagnosis. My home has become a revolving door for physical and occupational therapists, aides, and certified nursing assistants. Many days I have felt like that lone puzzle piece that didn’t seem to fit anywhere. No answers, just more problems to solve, another crisis. Other days, it seemed like I would gain insight as to our future and my husband’s illness, like putting a string of puzzle pieces together and feeling good about it. I would think I had a glimpse of what may be happening in our lives. Yet then another setback would come, and I would wonder if I had gotten a true picture at all. But with the same steadfastness that I attacked the jigsaw puzzles, I realized that God was reminding me of the strength He has put within me to persevere, day by day, issue by issue. He has given me insight as to which step to take next, as I pray and seek Him, just as I recognize where to place a puzzle piece by shape and color.

In His great love, He was using the puzzles to show me that every piece of my life has a purpose, even when I cannot easily find it. I thought I was wasting time, but He was showing me through these puzzles that the last piece will come; I may hope in Him.  Even though my life situations may be a perplexing puzzle, He knows the final picture, and it will all fit together perfectly according to His plan.

The puzzles I did ended with a “twinkling,” forming a breathtaking photo that erased any semblance of the individual pieces and their complexity. I truly believe that the pieces of my life will also bind together, and the brokenness and uncertainty I may be experiencing will lose intensity as they mesh to form a beautiful picture. For our circumstances, joys and hardships, and the people we meet along the way,  are not random pieces of our lives. They all form part of His beautiful pictures, which I believe we will see completed over and over again in our lives as we learn to trust Him and believe that He loves us. For we are truly never alone.