Puzzled
I have always loved the challenge
of a good jigsaw puzzle. Even in kindergarten at playtime I would run to be the
first to get a wooden puzzle. But lately the old fashion type of jigsaw puzzle
has been difficult for me to do… just those age-related aches and pains from
bending over a table! So when a jigsaw puzzle advertisement showed up on my
tablet a couple of weeks ago, I decided to download the free app and check it
out.
The first puzzle I chose was a
picture of horses. (If you have met me even once, you know that I absolutely
love these four-legged creatures!) The puzzle was fun to do, and I realized I
was going to enjoy this app. But then I found a “special” where they offered a
free puzzle for every day of the month of January. I clicked on January 1st,
and to my surprise, these were “mystery” puzzles. No preview. I chose the
hardest level of difficulty of the three levels offered and clicked on the
start button.
The frame was the first thing I
tackled, looking for all the white-edged straight pieces. This didn’t seem too
challenging. But just from the frame, it was impossible to tell with accuracy
what picture would unfold. Scrolling down one by one, I tried to find a piece,
any piece that would fit into the frame. This was not any easy task, especially
not having a clue as to what the final picture would be. But I kept at it, and
little by little I placed some pieces, all the while gaining more perception as
to what the end result might possibly look like. Sometimes I would get a run on
the pieces and fit one right after the other in the same area. That was
exhilarating! And I would study shapes and color, trying to get the right piece
on the first try. As the picture began to unfold, so did my excitement and
feeling of accomplishment. I could now guess with accuracy what the final
puzzle might look like. It was actually a great feeling when I was down to the
last few pieces and they filled in rapidly, sounding a little “bing” noise to
assure they were in the right place. And then, to my surprise, when the last
piece was in place, the puzzle no longer showed the division between the
individual pieces, but was transformed with a “twinkling” sound into a
beautiful photo!
I was hooked. Anytime I had a free
moment, I would pick up my tablet and work on the next January mystery puzzle.
Even though it was relaxing as well as mentally challenging, I started feeling
somewhat guilty about spending my time doing puzzles. I needed to prepare for a
speaking engagement that was only a few weeks away, not sit doing jigsaw
puzzles. Yet I felt compelled to start a new puzzle as soon as I finished one.
I was on puzzle number twenty-eight when I finally realized
what was happening. God was trying to speak to me through the puzzles. It was a
message for my own life, as well as for the conference I would soon attend,
which I had titled “Never Alone.”
It now all made sense. Can God speak this way? Of course He can! The
better question would be, are we listening when He chooses to use means that we
consider unconventional?
God was showing me that I have
viewed my life in the last few years as if it were a gigantic, difficult puzzle
with no idea whatsoever what the final picture may be. My able-bodied husband
had rapidly become disabled, until presently spending his days in a wheelchair
and unable to do the simplest task by himself. I have had to sell our farm, my
beloved horses, move twice and face countless Dr. appointments with still an
unclear diagnosis. My home has become a revolving door for physical and occupational
therapists, aides, and certified nursing assistants. Many days I have felt like
that lone puzzle piece that didn’t seem to fit anywhere. No answers, just more
problems to solve, another crisis. Other days, it seemed like I would gain
insight as to our future and my husband’s illness, like putting a string of
puzzle pieces together and feeling good about it. I would think I had a glimpse
of what may be happening in our lives. Yet then another setback would come, and
I would wonder if I had gotten a true picture at all. But with the same
steadfastness that I attacked the jigsaw puzzles, I realized that God was
reminding me of the strength He has put within me to persevere, day by day,
issue by issue. He has given me insight as to which step to take next, as I
pray and seek Him, just as I recognize where to place a puzzle piece by shape
and color.
In His great love, He was using the
puzzles to show me that every piece of my life has a purpose, even when I
cannot easily find it. I thought I was wasting time, but He was showing me
through these puzzles that the last piece will come; I may hope in Him. Even though my life situations may be a
perplexing puzzle, He knows the final picture, and it will all fit together
perfectly according to His plan.
The puzzles I did ended with a
“twinkling,” forming a breathtaking photo that erased any semblance of the
individual pieces and their complexity. I truly believe that the pieces of my
life will also bind together, and the brokenness and uncertainty I may be experiencing
will lose intensity as they mesh to form a beautiful picture. For our
circumstances, joys and hardships, and the people we meet along the way, are not random pieces of our lives.
They all form part of His beautiful pictures, which I believe we will see
completed over and over again in our lives as we learn to trust Him and believe
that He loves us. For we are truly never alone.
