The Royal Wedding

Just a few weeks ago the world's attention was turned towards the royal wedding taking place at Westminster Abby in London. The flowers, the food, the dresses, the decorations...it all was being talked about everywhere.

Yet this evening I was thinking about how incredible it is that we are also part of a royal wedding, and are married to a King. Actually, the King of all Kings. So all the privileges and comforts of marrying into the royal family are ours. We have immediate access to the throne anytime we want to go there. We are honored and held in high esteem. We are provided for in every way. And the dowry paid for us was the life of our King Himself. What greater love could there be? What wedding more worthy of the world's attention?

I know how difficult it is for us at times to see ourselves as His beloved bride, when we struggle so with the conception of who we are and who He is, both very skewed by the lies that sexual abuse has coerced us to believe. But we must believe the truth. We are precious to the King, adored by Him, and truly loved. And the marriage is forever.

Just Child's Play

Man may think he has a heads up on the technology of instant, worldwide communication systems, but his knowledge is just child's play when it comes to God's network. Our Heavenly Father crosses timezones, has amazing links, and never has a power outage or drops a call. Every time I experience His networking system, I am left speechless, teary-eyed and awe-stricken. Take today, for instance.

I woke up feeling anxious. As many of you know,   I am soon to leave for Italy where I will be speaking to support groups who help abused women. I think I was allowing myself to feel rushed and worried about having so much to do and prepare for this trip, and time seemed like it was running out. I felt the responsibility to bring a message of hope to each women at the meetings, feeling overwhelmed by the weight of it. I know better than to be anxious, I know God is in control, that it's not about me, and I should relax. But I just couldn't. So I plainly told Him I was having a rough time and He would have to help relieve the anxiety, because my efforts to be at peace were proving futile. So instead of Facebook, the "God Network" began.

 Shortly after my plea to God the phone rang. It was a dear friend from Florida who said she felt she had to just call and tell me she loved me. She is going through a difficult time with a very sick husband, so my anxiousness did not seem worthy to even discuss. But we did, and her words were "You were born for this day. God's got you covered from the front and behind. Have fun with this mission and enjoy what He is doing." I knew she was right, and the next few hours I diverted my "introspection" to listening to praise music as I worked on a purse.

Then by late afternoon, my morning plea was turned into tears of gratefulness. The wonderful lady that I had met seven years ago and suddenly reappeared in my life a few weeks ago, (last blog entry) stopped by to give me the bookmarks I had made for the ladies in Italy, that she had laminated  for me. That's not counting the 100  tissue holders that she made for the trip! But the most awesome thing was when she handed me a little gift. It was a card she had laminated, with beautiful butterflies, and this verse: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him"..Romans 15:13.  Could it be more direct than that?

But that's not all. We talked for a while, I shared a song with her called "Broken into Beautiful" that I will be using in Italy, and I gave her one of the tissue holders which I had decorated with ribbon and a beautiful organza butterfly. It was a blessed time together of sharing all that God is doing. I couldn't thank her enough for all she had done in helping me show the Italian women with these little gifts that they are loved and special. She left, and I started back to work.

Then I heard a knock on the door. It was Margo again. She said "God wouldn't let me get away without buying more books." I was speechless. She had already been more than a generous supporter of this mission in every way. But she handed me a check for fifteen more books and five abuse booklets. And she added some extra! I signed all the books, thanking her over and over again. She was plugged into God's network, and I was the recipient, and of course, the ladies in Italy.

After she left, the tears came. They flooded my face and dripped on my sewing table. Tears of gratefulness. Too much for words. God was speaking to me, loud and clear, exchanging my worries for the awareness of His greatness, His plan, His purpose, His provision. Connecting the past to the present and future, all in one moment. But that's His operating system at work, His wonderful, powerful network where believers hear his commands, move by His Spirit, and are not bound by time.

There Are No Mistakes in God's World

It's so easy to be tempted to think when life isn't going well that God has made a mistake. That He has failed in some way. But He is God, and cannot fail. We see only the part that hurts or frightens us, but He sees the whole picture, from beginning to end. And if we will trust that He is ultimately the Lord of All, then we may get a glimpse of His love and mercy, even in the darkest hours.

Last week at this time I was not sure if my husband would be undergoing a difficult surgery that had the possibility of changing life forever as we know it. It wasn't good. My trip to Italy to minister to abused women seemed like a hopeless dream. I was not sure what was happening, and had plenty of questions for my Father. Yet, (as I wrote in my last blog), God met me in the hospital waiting room in the form of two wonderful strangers who quickly became a spiritual support for me, and I a blessing for them. It was a divine appointment. In the midst of the storm,  I saw "Jesus walking on the water" through the encounter with these two people.

I came home from the hospital and was writing the last blog when my phone rang. A woman I did not recognize began to introduce herself. These were her very words: "I met you seven years ago at the Billy Graham cove and purchased your book, My Eyes Have Seen Thy Glory. Just last night I saw it in my bookshelf, took it out, flipped through it, and decided to read it again. I then felt that I needed to call you and order 25 books to give as Easter gifts. I felt God was telling me you may need funds for missions. I hope you have some more books, and am so glad your phone number hasn't changed." I was shocked! Stunned! Seven years later a woman who I only met once was calling me for books. And she had no idea that we always use the book proceeds for missions and that I had a pending trip to Italy!

The next day she came by the house to pick up the books, and also decided to purchase a purse! (I design and make women's purses). We talked for three hours about God's goodness and how He makes no mistakes. Our meeting seven years prior was all part of a total plan. We ended our time together with  prayer.  I felt encouraged that all would be well.

My husband underwent some more testing later on last week and all the results were normal! Praise God! The Italy trip is on!

I'm meeting with this woman again tomorrow because she wants fifteen more books and some of the sexual abuse booklets that I just published. I have no idea of all the ramifications of our  paths crossing seven years ago, and now being suddenly reunited. I only am reminded once again that God is in control of the universe, as well as the events in our lives, and He makes no mistakes. He can get us through the darkest night, and joy does comes in the morning. May His Name be praised forever!

Divine Encounters

Life has its way of taking some difficult turns. It’s almost as if when things are going well, we can expect the serenity to be short-lived, and to soon be facing some calamity. Maybe it’s just the way this life is, a product of the fall of man. But when Jesus came, He did promise that we could live with peace, security, and freedom from fear. He said we could “renew” our minds. He assured us over and over again that our Father loves us and every hair on our head is numbered. Our circumstances may seem insurmountable, but we are told we can do all things in Christ who strengthens us. I am resting on those truths today.

So here I am, once again in a waiting room at the hospital while Pedro is undergoing some tests that could totally change the course of our lives. And, just like was the case a few months ago, a speaking engagement in Italy now wavers in the balance of the unknown. 

The last time Pedro and I faced a similar crisis,  we were in the emergency room and the nurse who attended Pedro had recognized him as a past elder from Central Church. She broke down in tears and told us that very morning she had been asking God to send her an elder to pray for her, because she was in a terrible situation. While Pedro lay in the hospital bed, we prayed, she cried, and I was sure this had to be a sign from God that all would be well, that we were there for the sake of the nurse's prayer being answered, and that the Italy trip would happen as planned. I was dead wrong. Later that week emergency surgery was scheduled. The trip was delayed two weeks.

 I only prayed this morning that God would use my hours in the waiting room to be a blessing to someone, and as a last minute thought, I had tucked the little sexual abuse booklet I had written in my purse before we had left home.

They took Pedro for the MRI's and  I walked into the waiting room. A sweet Afro-American lady with a T-shirt that let the world know she believed in God was the sole person in the room with me. I thought, “she will be good company,” but within a few minutes she left and I was alone. So I began to write the first paragraph of this journal entry.

Shortly after, a big, Afro-American man came in and sat down. We exchanged a few words, and then I continued writing. Little did I know that this would be an incredible encounter.

Something was on TV on the Dr. Phil show that caused us to strike up a conversation about childhood wounds. The man then told me he was a pastor and that God was dealing with him in this area. We shared  non-stop conversation for two hours, at times including his wife as she was in and out checking on her mom. It was amazing the union of spirit that we all immediately felt! His wife works with the women at their church, so  I shared my story. She immediately told me about some of her friends who had been abused. I pulled the booklet out of my purse and gave it to her as a gift, so grateful I had heeded the prompting of bringing it with me. She insisted on paying for it so she could “be a blessing.” 

We discussed so many relevant issues concerning the Christian walk. Then her husband said he felt we should pray. We all stood in the waiting room, hands held tightly, and he prayed for Pedro’s complete healing and our future ministries, as well as for his mother-in-law. There we were, three complete strangers, united by our love for Jesus. One more time it let me know that God loves His children and watches out for us.  All three of us recognized that our hours together today were no accident.  Plans were made to reconnect, a possibility of me speaking at their ladies’ meeting, and whatever else may come of this God- planned encounter. It is an exciting life to be a follower of Christ! 

I learned the last time with the nurse at our previous hospital episode, that when things like this happen,  it does not necessarily mean that God is saying there is smooth sailing ahead. But it does show in a tangible way that God is very mindful of what we are going through and that we are not alone. May His Holy Name be Glorified! He is in control!

The Missing Chunk Part 2

I know the horse bite analogy may be a little far fetched, but I have to add this sequal anyway.

The other morning I was walking in the park. The weather was beautiful and I enjoyed the slice of time that I was taking for myself. As I walked, I accidentally touched the tip of my horse-bitten finger on my jeans and felt immediate pain. I couldn't  imagine that it could still hurt like that, because the outside was totally healed. I never even thought about it anymore, and there was only a barely visible mark where the nasty wound had been. I must have touched it just right, however, because it hurt, and then reminded me that the inside must still be healing, even though the outside was fine.

Then it occurred to me  that my life was like my finger. The Lord definitely did a marvelous work of healing in me, and I rarely think about my childhood abuse anymore. On the outside, no one would know the pain my deep wounds had caused me in the past. But every once in a while, if the circumstances are just right, a sharp pain radiates from the inside out, and I realize that there is still a part of me that is in the process of healing. But just as I know my finger will totally heal soon from its injury, I believe the day will come when all that will be left of the abuse will be a painless memory.

A King's Daughter

I was at a conference last Saturday where author Becky Harling was the guest speaker. I was very moved by her story of abuse and recovery. She has a new book out called "Freedom from Performance", and with her permission, I am posting a section called "Characteristics of a Daughter." Good truths for meditation.

A  daughter enjoys full assurance that her Father loves her completely.
A daughter views God as close and addresses Him with intimate terms such as "Abba" or "My Father."
A daughter defines faith as trusting that she is loved and that God will provide what is best.
A daughter defines obedience as simply responding to her loving Father.
A daughter enjoys freedom from fear of her Father's disapproval or wrath.
A daughter has learned to rely on the Holy Spirit for life transformation. She prays, Holy Spirit, live your life through me."
A daughter lives with steady joy. It's not that she doesn't experience deep sorrow, but she knows she is the sparkle of her Daddy's eye and that brings a rooted joy that no circumstances can change.

His Pursuing Love

This week at The King's Daughter's Support Groups we ended the meetings with the commitment to pray that God would reveal His love to us in a very special way that we could recognize and understand. That was Monday and Tuesday. This is only Friday, and already I am speechless at the ways He is answering this prayer for me personally.

First of all, my mom, who is 84  years old and has never acknowledged the fact that almost my entire childhood was a horror story of abuse, for the very first time last night, instead of denial, told me that she was sorry. She apologized over and over. I cannot explain what that felt like for me to hear those words after all these years. (Earlier this week I had asked some ladies to pray that my mom would recognize the truth, and quite honestly, I was not expecting an answer so quickly). Not only did that conversation happen, but when I suggested to her that we meet  together and do the study questions from Becky Harling's book,"Rewriting Your Emotional Script," she agreed. We even met at Walmart today and bought journals so we could record our answers! You would have to know my mother to know what a miracle this truly is! I am in awe. And she seemed like a huge weight was  lifted from her shoulders.

While at Walmart this  afternoon, another amazing event happened that clearly  showed me how God pursues us, trying so hard to get us to understand the depth of His love for us. Maybe God works a lot at Walmart! Anyway, this past Christmas I had been shopping, and as I was leaving the store the lady who checks receipts stopped me and asked to see mine. I opened my little change purse to get the receipt, and she commented on how she loved my little purse. So I proceeded to tell her that I design and make one-of-a-kind purses. Then, in the depth of my heart, I knew I was supposed to give her one. So I told her that I would make one for her, and asked what type of print she wanted. She said she liked flowers, and that she actually worked in the garden department, but for some reason that night they had put her at the door. She asked the price, and I told her, but insisted that it would be a gift, and she insisted that she would pay me.

The next day I went back to Walmart with her little flower change purse, all gift wrapped. I couldn't find her anywhere, and finally asked at the fitting room area if they could have  her paged. I waited. She didn't appear. So they paged her again. A few moments later I could see her in the distance, hurrying down the isle, a noticeable limp on one leg, a worried look on her face. I met her before she got to the fitting room area. She explained that she didn't know why they were paging her or what she had done wrong. I quickly told her that I had asked them to page her and was sorry for upsetting her. I then handed her the gift bag with the change purse. Tears began to well up in her eyes and then spill down her face. I told her that God loved her, and that no matter what she was going through, He wanted her to know that she was precious to Him. I had no idea if she even believed in God. But that is what I felt to tell her at that moment. She stood sobbing and speechless, and then wiped her face and thanked me. I left Walmart that day with the most incredible sense of well-being.

That was December. I have been in and out of Walmart a hundred times since then, never seeing her again. But today, for some reason I thought I would enter through the garden department and see if she was there. And she was at the register!  I could see she was busy, so I met my mom, bought the journals, and decided to pay at the garden register on my way out. As I approached,  she appeared  to be really struggling emotionally and physically. Maybe she has Parkinson's, because she was shaking. She looked at me strangely, almost as if embarrassed, so I asked if she remembered me. She said she certainly did, and that she loved her little purse. Then she asked,"What is your name again?" and I told her. "That's what I thought." she replied. "We were just talking about you the other day." I waited for her to clarify. "You don't know me, but many years ago, my husband did some plumbing for you. We were in a desperate situation, and you and your husband gave us your car." I just couldn't believe it! In 1994, a plumber had come to work on a new addition we were putting on our house and had told us his very sad story. We were planning on trading our car for a new one, but felt so strongly that God had told us to give our car to the plumber instead, and so we had, even though that was a sacrifice for us at the time. But we never lacked a car since that day. And today, nearly 20 years later, I find out that the woman I had given the purse to just a few months ago  was his wife! Again, she stood in Walmart trying to subdue the tears that were forming. I excitedly hugged her. I don't know what the other people waiting in line thought. But it didn't matter. God was pursuing  this family with His love and allowing me to be a part of it all. Of all the people in Walmart I could have chosen to give  a gift to, and God put her on my heart!
I left Walmart today almost skipping. If God could pursue this woman in this manner over a period of so many years to assure her that she was loved, cared, and provided for, then He was also pursuing me!
And you!


"And this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1John 4:10