Perseverance. Going on even though you want to stop. When everything inside you says "I've had enough," perseverance keeps you marching forward, keeps instilling the slightest hope that you are on the right path, and that on the other side of the arid, steep mountain, there awaits a luscious, green valley.
Perseverance is believing in God when He seems silent, continuing on a journey towards emotional wholeness when one feels fearful and anxious, and sometimes conjuring up the strength to just get through the day. It truly can be so difficult to move forward at times. But we must. We must keep marching.
It was nearly four years ago that I began a journey of healing from childhood sexual abuse. In the midst of the healing process, a well of new creativity began to spring forth, and I started designing and making purses. It has been, overall, an awesome journey so far. I have met new people, shared my story, and started a business in the worst of times and seen it stay debt free.
One of my weekly activities is going on Saturdays to a local farmer's market where artisans sell their creations. I always enjoy these times, and it has been beneficial financially to be there. But last Saturday, I just wanted to give up. No one was buying my purses, or stopping by my table to have any meaningful conversation. I was doubting that I should continue this venture, and frankly, was feeling rejected. Other vendors were selling. Maybe no one liked my creations. Giving up certainly felt like a good direction. Just do something else with my time.
The day was almost over when an elderly lady came to my table and started chatting. One thing led to another, and I was able to share some of my childhood story. She looked at me, obviously also an abuse survivor, and said, "I have chills, you have made my day!"
I answered, "You have no idea how close I came to making this my last day here." She said she'd return again so we could talk more. And I knew I had to keep marching.
This week, a wonderful new venue opened up for my business. It could take me in a whole different, exciting direction. What would have happened if I had not decided to persevere in spite of utter exhaustion and discouragement?
Granted, there may be times we need to change the direction of our lives. But most of the time, if we persevere in our faith, march on towards healing, and when everything cries "stop!"' keep going forward towards our dreams, then we will find ourselves on the right path, in the right direction. And when we get to the peak and can see down into the valley, we notice that it is full of fragrant flowers!
