I love horses, and have been a horse owner for many years. There was a time where my mares were foaling regularly, and it was usually in the middle of the night. I loved being there to see the new baby struggle to its feet for the first time! So I've had memorable experiences at night with mares.
But this is not about horses. Rather, about nightmares, the scary kind. I had been plagued by them ever since I can remember. They were such a part of my life, that I thought that everyone always had dreams of being chased by some evil man, or finding oneself totally mute when faced with danger, or in some precarious and life-threatening situation. It was just a few years ago that I realized my "night life" was not normal, and that other people actually had pleasant dreams.
So why the constant terror during my sleeping moments? It definitely related back to my abusive childhood. When sexual abuse finds its way into your bedroom as a child, the nightmares also invade what should be a "safe" place. However, since the time that I embarked on a very determined road to find inner healing from my childhood memories, the nightmares have been fewer; in fact, they have almost totally been eradicated from my dreamworld. Yes, once in a great while, especially if I am dealing with a new phase of the healing process in my life, they tend to reappear. But because I now understand their origin, they have lost their lingering impact on my mind. Instead, I bring them to God and ask Him to show me the meaning so I can confront anything that may still be lingering in my unconscious mind that has not yet been healed. He seems always to be faithful to do that, which then allows me to face a once hidden fear head on. Once identified, the fear loses its grip on me, and another step toward freedom and wholeness is made.
When I was in Italy recently, I found a little wall plaque that I have placed over my bed. I faithfully read it every night, which not only helps my Italian, but my heart as well! It is from Psalm 4:8: "I will both lie down in peace and sleep: for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."
If you are suffering from nightmares from an abusive past, please know that there is healing. God intends for us to have sweet and restful sleep. As we call out to Him, He does hear us, heal us, and deliver us from evil.
